You Can Lead a Horticulture But You Can’t Make Her Read…

It’s that sun poisoning time of year again. I hate the sun and I hate the light. And I hate summer. A co-worker asked me if I am a vampire. Well, of course I’m not a vampire, that just makes me think of Sci-Fi C.R.E.E.P.S (His type is doing the rounds).  But when I thought about it, I actually do have an immense aversion to mirrors. It’s true. I can’t bring myself to look in mirrors. They make me flinch. If I’m passing a shop window and accidentally catch my reflection, it is more than I bear. I wonder if other people feel like that.

I get intense hayfever. I recenty got these things in my eye called meibomian cysts! I had terrifying thoughts of shingles or something equally arcane. Will I go blind?! But my doctor told me they were simply caused by my hayfever and by having a low-immune system due to being run down.

I was telling someone about this, and accidentally said, “Yeah, the Doctor reckons they’re cysts from low self-esteem.”

My friend looked horrified and said, “Dass, I didn’t realise you felt so bad!”

So it stuck, and now we call them my low self-esteem cysts.